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I’m In An Abusive Relationship With Ryan Air

I really do love you Ryan Air. Your route map is far superior to any other airline in Europe. You fly to places that many airlines do not. Your flights are on time and reliable. But most of all, I love you because you are cheap. Oh so cheap.

But sometimes I feel like you are just using me for my money. I feel like our relationship is a little one sided. I don’t think you actually care about my feelings. Actually I think you secretly despise me. I feel like you are using me, Ryan Air.

You make me pay to take luggage with me on my flight. Sometimes you even charge me for having only a carry on. I just don’t think that is fair. And if god forbid I should have a kilo or two extra in my luggage, well you want to charge me something like 20 euros a kilo. Sometimes that is more than the initial ticket!

You don’t let the elderly, the sick, or parents have priority boarding….. well… not unless they pay for it.

You also don’t assign seats, meaning that friends, families and couples are often split up. You may not suffer if the couple with the infant is split up on the flight, but we do. (oh and the person that has to sit beside the infant, because you split up the parents… they suffer too.)

You make your carry on luggage maximum size just that little bit smaller than the industry standard… just so you can charge people to check their carry ons because they are “too big.”

You even charge me just for using a credit or debit card to pay for my flight booking, as if you are doing me a great service in allowing me to pay you.

And yet I still love you. Despite this, all the other airlines are still more expensive.

But now you have changed your rules yet again. Now we have to check in online or else cop a 60 euro per person fine. And not only that, but we have to print our own boarding passes…. or else a 15 euro per person fine.

I mean, I don’t mind printing the boarding pass if that helps you be efficient and all, but is it necessary for such a large fine for just one piece of paper?

Dan and I just spent a week in Cyprus. It was amazing. So much history, so much beauty. But do you know what there wasn’t so much of…. internet cafes. All we could find were closed down abandoned buildings where internet cafes used to be. Even the hotels we stayed in operated on paper only and had no printer. (and sometimes they had no one working there to be found). We even tried going into a car rental office and offering money to use their printer. We even saw it… sitting there all shiny and proud on the desk. “It isn’t connected”, she said. “I don’t believe you”, I thought. Even information was not helpful. I asked the man at the information desk, “Can I please use your printer?” I could see it. It was old. It was probably one of the first printers available on the market, but it was there. “We don’t have a printer,” the man replied. “You’re lying,” I thought to myself. “Do you know who does?” I asked. “Ask at the information desk,” he replied. “YOU are the information desk,” I state… I mean, I think it’s a reasonable assumption. He IS sitting at a desk with a large sign proclaiming INFORMATION on it. He simply replied..”No.”

So you see Ryan Air..we tried! We really did try to print your boarding pass. But it wasn’t good enough.

So of course, we were not allowed to check in. We had to go and first pay our fine.

We went to the lady at the fine paying desk. “Hi, we were not able to get our boarding pass printed.” “Oh no,” she said, “that’s bad, that’s very bad.” She looked really worried. Now I was really worried. What if they don’t let us on the plane. Because of one piece of paper!!! Oh god…!!

After a few minutes of her questioning us on why we could not print it, she finally printed off the one required piece of paper. And of course… charged us our 30 Euro fine. (at least Jacob escaped the fine.

Apparently though we got off light. She told us that today (or tomorrow… she wasn’t sure) the fine is increasing to 70 Euros per person.

I mean REALLY…. come on Ryan Air.

Isn’t 70 Euros for a piece of paper a bit steep? I mean, the flight for all three of us cost less then that. I feel like… I feel like you might be trying to use me here.

I hate you Ryan Air. You are money hungry and mean. Your seats are uncomfortable and you try to sell me crap on the plane.

No, I don’t want to buy your lottery tickets.

No, I don’t want to buy your pornographic calender.

No, I don’t want your duty free alcohol.

I hate you.

But I love you. And unfortunately… I’m sure I will be back.

Feature image from Creative Commons Brianac37

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16 thoughts on “I’m In An Abusive Relationship With Ryan Air

  1. This is hilarious…and oh so true! I feel your pain, and I’ve been there too. It’s a wonder we keep coming back isn it? After taking a few flights in South America with REAL AIRLINES (yes they were more expensive, but we had assigned seats, didn’t have to pay for luggage and even got a drink included!) it’s been painful coming back to Ryanair now we’re in Europe again. But we’ll keep using them, no doubt. At least they now allow two pieces of handluggage included with the ticket, and I hear that some time next year, they will start giving assigned seats to everyone…so maybe it’ll get better.

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  2. I love, love, love this post!

    I fly Ryanair ALL the time, they are my main carrier. Their flight from Stockholm to London is always the cheapest option by far, even when factoring in the ridiculous flight buses (at both ends of the journey) because the airport is not actually in the city that you are visiting. But I hate Ryanair for their lack of concern about their customers and their complete lack of flexibility. Thankfully, I have never (yet) fallen foul of their ridiculous rules, but I know that the day will come eventually!!

    I suppose I will just have to consider all the money that I have saved over the last 10 years of flying with them – it’s way more than €70.

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  3. This is really funny but also a good tip. I always assume it’s fine not to be able to print your boarding pass and still do online check in, but those fine are ridiculous!

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  4. Gawd, I hardly ever print boarding passes or travel itineraries anymore. Such a waste of paper. Stupid RyanAir!!!

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  5. Ha, actually… I don’t feel the same way at all about loving Ryanair. I am much more willing to shell out the money to fly with a civilized airline. I feel like I’m treated like an animal when I fly with Ryanair.

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  6. As I’ve been planning my Europe itinerary, I’ve been looking into using Ryanair, so I found this post funny (and informative).

    I’ve delt with my fair share of budget airlines in Asia… but Ryanair sounds a bit worse!

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  7. Great post !!

    You just have to take Ryanair for what they are. They are cheap and as a result everything is on their terms so if you use them, set your expectations accordingly.

    I do that and never had any problems as a result when I’ve flown with them.

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  8. I hate Ryan Air…period. And I refuse to fly with them. In my opinion, they have a right to charge anything they want for anything, but when the rules and requirements are buried in the fine print and the practices are deceptive, I call that fraud. In a day and age when electronic boarding passes are the norm rather than the exception, their rules are simply there as a way to prey on unsuspecting customers. It’s a shame so many other people are willing to fly with them. If we all boycotted things might change a little bit.

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  9. I love Ryan Air. I think that it is a matter of perspective. As I see it, they give you the possibility to pay less. They don’t include the extras in the price. If you want them, you have to pay extra. It is also true that if you pay all the extras you might end up paying for your flight more than with other airlines, but if you don’t need the extras and play by their guide lines, you end up flying really cheap. Thanks for the honest article.

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  10. 70 Euro fine to print a boarding pass?? Wow! I had my first Ryan Air experience a few months ago — Bologna to Dublin. After all the complaints I’d heard about them, I was pleasantly surprised by the on-time flight and super-friendly flight crew. I don’t like all the extra charges either and it seems that more and more airlines are going that way.

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    1. So true. I used to be annoyed with them, as they introduced some of their charges before other airlines – but I am less annoyed now. But the whole having to print your boarding pass this really annoys me. It seems like a senseless money grab in an age where everyone just does online check in on their phone. I mean… who has time to track down an internet cafe while they are travelling?

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  11. Ha this is fantastic, it so accurately describes the see saw I think most people find themselves on with Ryan Air!! I can’t believe you had such trouble trying to find a printer in Cyprus though…how irritating!!

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  12. I also have that kind of feeling on other airline companies but your experience was worst than mine. I hope they will do something to fix their services to make their customers or passengers happy.

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